I spent four years as an
undergraduate student in the United States. Out of the hundreds of people that
I crossed paths with, I remember the name of one person: my roommate Lan. I don’t
recall the names of my other roommates or project teammates and have vague
memories of what they looked like. Can you guess how many people remember me?
ZERO!!!
I
am not surprised by this number. As a foreign student in the US, I tried ‘adapting’
to the situation and was always trying to fit in. I wanted to blend in. I used
to think that if I stood out, it was a bad thing. I wanted to change my name
and be called something AMERICAN like ‘Kate’ or ‘Sara’. I used to get super embarrassed
if people didn’t understand my accent. I didn’t like being unique or exotic. This
attitude permeated not just the external matters, but who I was as a person
too. I was hesitant to show the ‘real’ me since I was different in many ways. I
didn’t want to voice my opinion because I didn’t want any confrontation. What all
this meant was that I wasn’t authentic and hence memorable.
What
I know now is that being REAL is mandatory in friendships. You have to share
your dreams and your fears. You have to show your insecurities and your
vulnerabilities. You have to have the courage to be who you are, what you
are..even if you think you are weird. Very often, we are so focused on showing the
world ‘our good side’ and our positivity and our upbeat nature. We try to hide
our scars and our bad days and our negativity. I strongly believe we have to
accept all that we are; good or bad. People close to me know I am a bit
dominating, impatient and emotional. I feel I can conquer the world, but eating
alone brings me down. I am easy-going on most issues, but have very strong
opinions about a few things. I forgive but never forget. Just as I am okay with
my freckles and my nose ring, I am totally fine with who I am as a person.
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